The Unseen Side of Shinji Ikari
by Kei Ikari
Summary: Shinji spends the night at Rei's apartment, I wonder what happens? Rating just to be safe. R&R. No flames please...


Rei opened her apartment door and was met with the frowning face of Shinji Ikari, the Third Child. "Hello Ayanami." Rei looked at Shinji, he was dressed in his usual, white shirt, black jeans but he had backpack on and his SDAT earplugs hanging from his neck. "Hello Ikari, what is wrong?" Shinji scowled, "Asuka decided that I needed lessons on respect so she made me dress in an apron and walk around doing her chores for her." Rei nodded, "Would you like to come in?" Shinji's face broke into a smile, "Yes please Rei, I was wondering if I could stay the night as well?" Rei looked back over her shoulder, "You may stay the night." Shinji bowed low at the waist, "Thank you Rei."

Rei sat down at the small table and waited, Shinji had decided he would make dinner as a way of saying thank you, Rei had not objected, she was sick of instant food and take away. In the kitchen Shinji worked back and forth making different meals, he had remembered that Rei didn't eat meat so he made an all vegetables feast. When Rei saw Shinji carrying out all the food she almost popped her eyes out staring, but remembered that it was rude to stare. Shinji smiled at the look on her face and set the food down then handed her some chopsticks. Rei and Shinji said grace, "Itakidamatsu." Rei watched Shinji from beneath her eye lashes and wondered how Sohryu could treat such a wonderful person so bad. When they had finished there was a small creaking sound from the front door. Rei went to see who it was and Shinji began to place the dishes in the sink and wash them up. From the entrance Shinji heard a voice that sent his blood cold, "Rei could you show where this vase goes?" Shinji called out. Shinji heard his father question Rei as to why he was here but was unable to hear her answer. Rei entered the kitchen with Shinji's father, Commander Gendo Ikari behind her, "Shinji I hear you had an argument with the Second Child?" Shinji nodded and continued to wash dishes. After a while the commander left, "Shinji I know you might be too busy but could you please fix the intercom?" Shinji nodded at his father and finished the dishes. After the commander had left Shinji went outside and pulled the cover off the outside intercom, "Rei could you please turn the light on?" Rei's answer reached Shinji's ears but he still had to strain to hear it, "I cannot Ikari, the light socket is damaged." Shinji sighed and asked, "Do you have a torch?" Rei nodded and Shinji went on, "Could you grab it and aim it over here?" Rei disappeared for a moment then came back with a large torch, "Will this do Ikari?" Shinji looked at the torch and nodded, "I will hold it while you repair the intercom." Shinji nodded and pulled out his small pocketknife. Shinji looked at the insides of the intercom for several minutes then discovered the reason for its failure to operate, "Rei do you have some electrical tape or something?" Rei disappeared and came back with a roll of tape. "Will this be good enough?" Shinji looked at her and nodded, "That will do fine Rei." Rei nodded and handed him the tape before taking up the torch again. When Shinji was done he stood back and took the torch from Rei. From what he knew about electronics he had solved the only problem the intercom had. "Rei let me put this cover back on and then we'll test if it works." Rei nodded and watched as Shinji placed the cover panel back on and watched as the green lights on the intercom slowly lit up and maintained a nice steady glow. Shinji depressed the talk button and spoke, "Rei are you getting this transmission?" Shinji waited a moment then heard, "Yes Ikari the transmission was received in moderate condition, there was a slight amount of static." Shinji smiled and walked inside, "Rei the static is a result of lower standings than that of the Evangelion's comm. systems." Rei walked over to Shinji and passed him a towel to wipe away the dirt and scum from his hands. Rei then went over to the microwave and began to heat up some porridge. Just as the porridge was about finished the microwave began to emit faint tendrils of smoke. Rei frowned but it was lost as the lights went out, "Ikari what just happened?" Shinji thought about it for a moment then looked towards Rei who was holding a match up in her slender hands. Shinji answered, "I'd say that your microwave just blew a fuse causing a power outage." Just then the intercom went off. "Ayanami have you had a blackout?" Shinji whispered, "The intercoms use batteries." Rei walked over to the intercom and pressed the button, "Yes myself and a… friend are having a blackout." Shinji and Rei heard the visitor walk away to ask the other people in the building the same question. Shinji picked up the torch and walked to Rei. When he reached her after stubbing his toe on a chair he was surprised to see that there were tears in the corners of her eyes and that she was holding her eyes shut. Shinji was about to ask her what was wrong when she clasped her arms around him and held him as close as she could. "Please Shinji, don't let the dark take me." It was then that Shinji realised that Rei was afraid of the dark. Shinji held her against his body and slowly rocked her to sleep. When she asleep Shinji dug around in one cupboard until he found what he after…Candles. Shinji placed candles around the apartment and then lit them. Shinji made sure that none of the candles would burn down to quickly or fall over and burn the apartment down. When Shinji was sure that everything was okay he went into the bathroom and got changed into a pair of shorts he could sleep in. When he left the bathroom he sat down on the floor and lifted up his SDAT.

Rei opened her eyes and was greeted by the sight of Shinji sleeping on the floor with his earphones on. Rei smiled and began to get out of bed. That was when she remembered how she had fallen asleep, she had fallen asleep in Shinji's arms sobbing like a child. Rei blushed as she remembered how much she had enjoyed the feelings of Shinji's arms around her body. She had had people hold her before and each time it had been a boy they had tried to take advantage of her, but not Shinji. Shinji had simply held her and rocked her to sleep. Rei decided that she would make Shinji breakfast. Shinji awoke to the smell of eggs and toast cooking on the grill. Shinji sat up and was greeted by Rei's small hesitant smile, "Thank you Shinji." She said as she placed a plate of eggs and toast in his lap, "for looking after me last night, in the dark." Shinji smiled at her and replied, "You're welcome Rei, I am always happy to look after someone special." Rei felt her cheeks growing warm as a blush crept onto them. She smiled as Shinji laughed at the pink tinge on her cheeks. After they had eaten a light breakfast Shinji went to the power grid in the laundry and opened it up to reveal several years of accumulated cobwebs and grit. Shinji reached in to check a fuse but pulled it back almost instantly with two small spots on his hand. Shinji wrapped his other hand around his wrist and watched as a small trickle of blood began to flow from the dots. That was when Rei realized that Shinji had been bitten by a spider. Rei looked into the box and saw a red back the size of a twenty-cent coin sitting right where Shinji's hand had been a moment ago. Rei paled then lifted up her cell phone and dialled the emergency number, "My name is Rei Ayanami, I need an ambulance my friend has been bitten by a large red back spider." Shinji watched as Rei spoke on the phone but was unable to follow what she was saying, after a while Shinji noticed that everything was becoming cloudy and the colours around him were running into each other and mixing, the last thing Shinji saw before falling into unconsciousness was Rei's face with tears running down her cheeks as she watched helplessly while Shinji was loaded into a gurney and taken down to an ambulance.

"Where…Where am I?"

"You are here Shinji Ikari."

"Who said that?"

"You did."

"No I didn't!"

"The side of your mind that can only be reached when asleep answered. That is who is talking."

"What is going on? Am I dreaming?"

"No."

"Then what is going on?"

"You have been injured."

"Yes I remember, I was bitten by a spider."

"That is correct, but there is another reason you are here. You are here because we need to discuss Rei."

In his sleeping mind Shinji saw several different views of himself appear then each stepped forward one by one.

"I am yourself as an EVA pilot." Said the one wearing the Plug Suit.

"I am yourself as a child."

"I am yourself as a teenager forced to grow up."

"I am yourself as a musician."

"I am yourself as a hero to your peers from school."

"And I am you as the loser you let others see yourself as. Now we must work out who _you_ are. You can not be all of us combined when se are like this or we would exist, there would only be you." Shinji nodded to show that he understood then began to walk before the other forms of himself, "If when I am not myself as an EVA pilot, a child, teenager forced to grow up, a musician, a hero or a loser then there must be another form of myself that others do not see and I do not notice. Do you guys know who I am?" He asked looking at the others gathered around him and smiled as they nodded. "May I ask how this has anything to do with Rei?" Shinji asked the others and received an answer, "Rei needs your help to become an individual but before you can help her…" "I must learn to help myself." Shinji finished. "That is correct." What followed next amazed Shinji each of his other forms walked over to him and placed one hand on his shoulder, "This is how it feels to be nothing but an EVA pilot." What Shinji felt was rage and hopelessness? Next came his child like form, "This is what it feels like to be nothing but a child." Shinji felt wonder and excitement for all that was around him as well as some fear towards the darkness of his own mind. This happened for all his forms and when they were finished they asked, "What is missing?" Shinji thought about it but knew he didn't need to, he already knew the answer, "Love, compassion and friendship." The other Shinji all smiled and clapped him on the back before disappearing and reappearing within him as part of his mind once more.

Rei jumped slightly and looked over her shoulder to see Misato and Asuka looking at her, "Rei what happened?" Asuka asked accusingly. Rei shrank from her harsh words but answered, "Ikari was looking at fuses in my fuse box because we had a blackout and was bitten by a spider." Asuka turned on her heel and walked into the room Shinji was staying in, "OKAY THIRD CHILD YOU CAN STOP DREAMING ABOUT ME BECAUSE I'M HERE NOW!" She screamed at the unconscious form of the Third Child. Rei looked at Misato and asked, "Is Sohryu mad at me Major?" Misato shook her head and gave her a sad smile, "No Rei she isn't mad at you she just doesn't know how to express her concerns for Shinji." Rei nodded and walked over to Asuka who was standing beside Shinji's bed with her eyes blinking furiesly to stop tears from flowing. Rei looked down at Shinji and then at the equipment monitoring him and saw what the problem was…Shinji was dying. Rei gave a small sob and looked over to Asuka but before either could do anything more Misato had stepped between them and put an arm around each of their shoulders and both girls were sobbing into her shoulders while she looked down at Shinji. Just then a doctor walked in and saw the three visitors with tears flowing freely down their cheeks, "We gave him enough Anti-venom to cure an army of bitten soldiers but all it seems to do is slow the venom down rather than destroy it. All we can do is give him more then send him home so he can enjoy his last days in peace." Misato looked up from Shinji's still form and asked, "how long does he have?" The doctor thought about it for a moment then answered, "We can give him more anti-venom and he will last about two months as long as he doesn't run any marathons." Misato nodded and looked back down at Shinji.

Shinji opened his eyes and saw that it was about three AM. Looking around he saw Asuka resting her head against the mattress with her head next to hand and Rei doing the same on the other side while Misato could be heard in the corridor. Shinji jumped as he heard a distinct slap then smiled as he heard his fathers voice tinged with pain, "Major you forget yourself, that boy is an EVA pilot before anything else and I am issuing an order to say that he _will _pilot until his death. Do I make myself clear Major?" Shinji smiled his father was trying to push a sober Misato around. "You make yourself crystal clear sir but Shinji will not pilot again unless he wants to. Do _I _make myself clear Sir?" Shinji was about to et up but Rei opened her eyes first and gave a small squeal of surprise to see him sitting up and about to get out of bed, "Shinji what are you doing?" She said, "You have to stay in bed." Just then Misato burst in with Gendo right behind. Shinji gave a laugh when he saw his fathers face, it was covered in red hand marks. By now Asuka was awake and burying Shinji in a massive bear hug which Rei and Misato both joined in with.

Later after everyone had gotten over the surprise of Shinji waking up Misato sat down on the end of his bed with a serious face. She was about to speak but Shinji gave a sudden gasp of pain and clutched his chest, "Misato I…I'm dying aren't I? I can tell from the readings on the machines around me." Misato was going to try and comfort the boy but the readings showed there was no hope, "Yes Shinji the anti-venom isn't working properly, its only slowing the venom down not stopping it and killing it." Shinji gave a small sigh and said, "I had hoped to fix Rei's apartment up, but I guess I'll have to stay here and dye from a doctor overdose." Misato gave a tearful chuckle then said, "You have about two months to live will that be long enough to fix it up if Asuka and I help you?" Shinji thought about it a moment then answered, "That will be plenty of time."

For the next month Shinji, Asuka, Rei and Misato redesigned and rebuilt Rei's apartment, they replaced all her furniture and painted the walls, they put down carpet and tiled the kitchen and dining room floors. When they were done they had totally changed Rei's home. Next Asuka and Misato took Rei shopping to expand her wardrobe from school clothes and swimsuits. When they had finished on Rei Shinji and Asuka taught Misato and Rei how to cook. Shinji even gave Misato a Curry Cook Book. Asuka felt happy that they were all getting along and she even enjoyed talking to Rei who seemed to know more about everything than anyone else in the world. Asuka did however feel a small amount of bitterness that Shinji was focusing on Rei and Misato so much and not on her. Then one day Shinji collapsed and didn't wake up until they had him back at the hospital. When he woke up the first thing he did was send Rei off on an errand and told Misato to give her a lift, leaving Asuka alone with Shinji. Shinji looked up at her from his bed then said, "Asuka the doctors say I have about two weeks to live but should be long enough to give you my parting gift." Asuka was about to ask what he meant but Rei and Misato burst back in with a large paper wrapped box between them. When they put it down Asuka noticed that her name was written on a small tag in one corner, "Thank you Rei, Misato but I need to talk to Asuka." Rei and Misato nodded and left. Shinji looked back at Asuka and said, "go on open it, it's your birthday present from me." Asuka nodded and opened the box. Inside was a handcrafted violin case. Asuka opened it slowly, afraid to find it empty and was met with the sight of a handcrafted violin to match the case. Asuka looked up to thank Shinji and was met with his smile. Then Asuka noticed it… The Third Child, Shinji Ikari, was dead.

Shinji's funeral was held on his birthday three weeks later. Asuka and everyone else were dressed in black and all of Tokyo 3 had turned up. Asuka looked around and saw how much Shinji had touched the lives of everyone. Then she looked at Gendo and saw something she thought she never would… "Excuse me is this thing on?" Asuka sighed, Misato was going to give a speech, "First of all I would like to thank everyone who came on this sad occasion, I know it is hard to believe that a pilot for an Evangelion could die but it is true. I know Shinji would be happy to see everyone's faces once more and I know he would thank everyone here for coming if he could. I have something else to say. If anyone were to look at the NERV logs they would see that it was this very same day two years ago that Shinji arrived in Tokyo 3 and fought Sachiel. It was this day last year that Shinji was forced to kill the only person to ever tell him they love him, that person was Kaoru Nagisa, Tabris, the seventeenth Angel. And now, the NERV orchestra would like to make their first performance. Thank you." Asuka watched as Misato left the podium then lifted her Violin and joined the other orchestra members on stage.

For the rest of her life Asuka would never forget what she saw of Gendo that day. Gendo Ikari, dressed in black like everyone else and like many others with tears running silently down his face.

The End…


End file.
